I told Travis today, after a really nasty fight last night, that I think we need a break. Not because I still have feelings for him, or anything like that, but simply because Travis and I aren’t working well as friends anymore. I expect him to be the same Travis I’ve known since sophomore year, and he’s just not the same person anymore. And I can’t be okay with that right now. And instead of pretending I am, or yelling at him (again), I decided to take a step back and allow myself to let go of everything I want him to be.
Really though, I just want my friend back.
I don’t think he’s going to text me goodbye like I did for him.
Him ignoring my texts is what really started this whole thing >.>
And the anger I almost unleashed right there is why I can’t talk to him right now.
It’s weird how easily we can get stuck in the past – especially when looking for stability in your life. My parents are falling apart, and I suddenly find myself looking for my high school friends, trying to make them all be the friends I’ve always wanted them to be, and maybe delusioned myself into believing they were at one point in time. Because that’s what I need right now.
Sometimes I think I’m crazy.
In other news, I think I have a ride to the airport for Thanksgiving break. I hope so at least. If not, I’m sure I can figure something out, but right now it’s almost definite. Max says he’ll drive me unless something comes up.
I really hope he doesn’t fall through. But I texted Sofia as well. I think she’d be willing to help me out too.
I really hope so I’d hate to have Sean buy the plane tickets and then have no way to get to the bus stop/airport.
I wonder if Carthage Security would give me a ride if I was that desperate.
Anyway. This blog has been sitting here for about an hour without being added to. So I’m going to leave it here, as is.
Peace, Love, and S’mores,