Remember That Drama I was Trying To Avoid?

Well, now I kind of want to talk about it, so here’s a quick overview:

Megan told Sean she believes me to be dishonest, manipulative, and crazy.
She also finds it creepy that she and I share some interests.

 

In an attempt to eliminate the third party here, because I find it dramatic to hear everything secondhand from Sean, I sent Megan a message. It was direct, but not meant to be taken as an attack (except for one paragraph).

I waited a few days to send it, partially because I wanted to be sure this was the right decision for me, and partially because Megan was in a car accident and I wanted to give her time to heal and take care of the stresses that come with car accidents (especially because hers was much worse than my recent accident, so I’m sure her stress was quite a bit worse).

 

By this morning she had blocked me from facebook (without even reading the entire message), and informed Sean that I was trying to start drama. I don’t know why she didn’t have the nerve to say that to me, but it irritated me. If I have a problem with someone, I don’t put a mutual friend in the middle of it, I tell them how I feel straight up. The only person causing drama right now is her.

 

Everything anyone does that isn’t agreeing with her is an attack. I was attacking her by telling her I was tired of being judged by her when she hasn’t even spoken to me. I was attacking her by reminding her that Sean is always there for her, even when she’s mean to him AND me, because she keeps telling him that he more or less abandons her when I’m part of his life.

I will admit, it was probably attacking to tell her that the interests we share aren’t that special or unique. She’s upset because I like Supernatural and Doctor Who and The Fault in Our Stars, because, y’know, those aren’t things with HUGE fandons, and there’s no way we could both be a part of them.

But she probably didn’t read that part anyway.

 

What it comes down to is you can’t win with someone who is immature. They will always be better than you, you will always be at fault. It’s almost like arguing with my 14 year old brother. There’s no logic, just the fact that she’s hurt because Sean cares about someone else in a different way that he cares about her (not MORE than her, just differently). But really, she’s just being selfish. I’ve liked boys with girlfriends, or some form of significant other, before. I may not have liked the idea of them having that sig other, but I never attacked her, never attacked him about her, and I was always supportive. You know why? Because if you REALLY care about someone, their happiness is more important than yours or all the fake attributes you’ve given to the girl you DON’T EVEN KNOW.

 

On second thought, I’d like to add that it could be taken as an attack that I told her she was the one being dishonest and manipulative. But it wasn’t meant as an attack so much as an observation – she told him his mother agreed with her. Which she doesn’t. That’s dishonest. And using someone’s mother against them is pretty manipulative in my book.

 

I’m just mad, okay? I’m so angry that she keeps turning me into the bad guy, even though she started all this drama and I’m just trying to get Sean out of the middle of it. I’m mad that she judges me without knowing me, I’m mad that she doesn’t have the balls to talk to me about it.

And I’m so angry that she can only see her own hurt. The only thing that matters right now is that she’s hurting, and I’m hurting her worse so I’m the bad guy. It’s okay for her to hurt everyone else though (she’s been doing so for a month now, after all, with no apologies), because, clearly, she’s just so RIGHT.

*sarcasm*

 

I’m going to end myย dramaticallyย personal post here. I will post again tonight, and I promise it will be much less dramatic and angry and sarcastic and such. I’m just hurting right now, and I need to get it out, okay?

 

Peace, Love, and Healing,

Jax

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