Firstly, I really miss my phone buzzing.
I’m tempted to leave it here while I get breakfast,
but there are still other people that text me,
so I shouldn’t.
Secondly, my feelings are super fucked up.
I’ve decided to stop trying to label how I feel,
particularly as far as Sean is concerned.
I thought I finally had it sorted out,
but now his feelings have changed,
so I should probably forget about that.
Problem with that? Mine don’t want to change anymore.
They were finally in a comfortable place.
(And I was being honest with myself. Which was a bit new.)
It’s okay though.
Not the end of the world.
I feel weird blogging all of this, knowing Sean will read it, while I still have no idea what goes on in his head.
I don’t really want things to change.
But I want him to be happy,
and still be part of my life,
and I guess change must occur for those things to exist.
I’ve been good, I haven’t texted him since yesterday before our talk.
Tomorrow will be easier – I’m going on a small trip, and probably won’t get service for a majority of the day.
As for today? It’s breakfast time. At 12:47 in the afternoon.
So I’m off to the caf, by myself, for food items.
I’ve been quite independent these past few days.
I’ll write more later, and tell you all how I was kicked out of the JAC.
Peace, Love, and Bacon,