Dear World – You Win.

Why does everything go bad at once?

 

Travis has been switched to night shift. He leaves on a boat at the end of the month, losing all immediate contact with me, and they switch him to freaking night shift. You know what that means? He sleeps until 5 pm my time, and then goes to work and hour later, and I sleep through his work shift, and when I wake up he’s in bed after a long night of work. We get in maybe 10 texts total in a day – except for this week he’s been called in early every day. So we’ve maybe send a total of 10 texts in 3 days.

 

I miss him like crazy.

 

And then Sean and I’s friendship thing just blew up.

I don’t know what he wants.
I think he wants space. Mostly because a mutual friend keeps suggesting it.

So. I’m just going to quit talking so much for a while, I guess.

 

I feel like my emotions are shutting down.
I’m tired of feeling and hurting and crying.

I’ve been so lonely in this past month, I don’t even know what to do with myself.

 

I want to start writing again.
And reading.
I miss doing things for fun.

I’ll work on that tomorrow.

 

Tonight. I’m going to shower.
And then listen to super loud music.

 

Goodnight world. Well done.

Jax

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