Standards of Friendship

Sometimes I feel like I work so hard to be a good friend to people who don’t really appreciate it, and would never do the same for me.

 

This week my life fell apart. I was a complete mess. Don’t believe me? Ask Maggiey, Adam, Travis, or Sean – they were there for me, and it was messy.

 

I confronted a friend today who wasn’t there for me. I had hoped she would be, but when I attempted to bring up what was happening when I saw her on Monday, she didn’t even stop to ask if I was okay. She launched right into a story about what was wrong with her life. Well, when I saw her last night (Friday) and began to update her on my week, she stopped me, saying she’d been reading my blog.

 

So let me get this straight – you read my blog, knew my life was falling apart, and couldn’t manage to drop me a text? You have a track phone, that’s understandable. You could leave me a facebook message? Email? Something to let me know you CARED and that you were there if I needed you?! 

 

No. She couldn’t. Her reasoning? She didn’t/doesn’t “have any emotion to spare.”

 

This is someone I have been there for almost consistently for 6 years. I always found time to help her with her problems, comfort her when things weren’t going right in her life. Even the rough spots this summer, when it felt like my life was falling apart, I found the time to ask her if she was okay, if she needed anything, just like I do for all of my friends.

 

No matter how bad my life gets, I always find time for the people I care about. Is it wrong for me to expect that in return from my closest friends?

 

That and no matter how hard I think, I can’t find a single thing in her life that is really so bad that she couldn’t take a couple minutes to check up on me. She says her parents are separating. But she’s been saying that for about a year now. College didn’t work out quite how she hoped it would. But she’s still going. And even then, is a couple years of community college really more emotionally taxing than my mother moving out of my house?

 

I’m tired of feeling like I’m in a one-sided friendship. While I am here for her emotionally when she needs me, ready to support and help her to the best of my abilities, I only hear from her outside of school when she needs something, or is upset.

 

She hasn’t even suggested we spend some time together before I leave for college this Friday.

 

I’m just starting to wonder what kind of friendship we really have.

I dunno. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.

 

Peace, Love, & Chocolate,

Jax

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s